My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
