she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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