He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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