just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
