So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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