ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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