got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize