I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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