i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
