after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize