we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
