Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My vagina is officially offended.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
