I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We just shotgunned beers for America
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
