I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
