u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
