just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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