So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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