dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The struggles of a small town man whore
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
