dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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