i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
