I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Houston, we have a blender
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
