He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
