her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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