Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
