you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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