god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
