We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
