she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
