i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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