Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
