For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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