I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
