Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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