Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
