I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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