I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
