To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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