I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
