So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
