amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Someone came in the potted fern
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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