You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
