I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
