We're like a lot better than the average bears
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
