dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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