Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
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Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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