you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Randomize
