This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
