I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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