I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
