is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
