i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm at about main and main street
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
