Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So vagazzling was a success
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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