I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
worst night to have a conscience
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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