I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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