How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
