she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
