Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
