She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
