Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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